


Of bleeding heart and love

by beizanten



Series: Soulmate not needed [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Depression, Dominant Omega Tony & Natasha, F/M, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Steve Rogers, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Maria Stark's A+ Parenting, Soulbond dream are past life memory, Soulmates, Team Bonding, Teamate to friend to lovers, Tony Stark Has Issues, omega courting later on, twinflame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2019-11-17 22:31:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18107804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beizanten/pseuds/beizanten
Summary: pepper and tony break up and steve try to earn tony trust and affection





	1. past wound & letting pepper go

**Author's Note:**

> Tony dream about past reincarnation where both he and Steve are alphas.
> 
>  
> 
> In serious need for a beta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tony dream the past life where he and steve are both alpha

Tony four years old

 

At 26 years old, Maria Stark was one of the most beautiful, high-level Omega around and the object of envy of other Omegas and Betas. After all, she was the Omega who captured the heart of the great Howard Stark. Captured, past tense because pictures of Howard and his mistress made it to the front page of the news. 

 

For several seconds Maria didn’t comprehend– three long seconds during which Maria just stood there, staring at the picture of her soulmate cheating with some bitch. Deep down she had suspected that Howard had an affair what with he seemed to lose all interest in sex with her lately, but she had glossed over that, she didn’t want to believe that Howard would do this to her. God knew his workaholic and the alcoholic tendency was bad enough! How could Howard do this to her!

 

Then Maria’ shock started crumbling away to make room for – to give her the first taste of – a whole new world of pain. The kind of pain that made her wanted to rip her heart out of her chest. An ache that will always be there, no matter what. It's not numbed, and it's omnipresent. The room blurred in front of her eyes as her tears fell unbidden.

 

It hurts her. Everything hurts her; her skin felt tight and sore like it did before the onset of flu. Pitying look from others felt like knives on her. She was really miserable.  
xxx

 

Tony could hear his mom yelling. “Don’t think you could just get away with this, HOWARD STARK!”

 

“Shut up!” Howard growled. “I could do whatever the hell I like! Don’t forget who paid for everything around here!”

 

Hot anger dropped into Maria’s stomach like a bucket of coals. Tony saw his mom grab his dad’s arm only to be slapped hard. Losing her balance, his mom fell on the floor.

 

“Stupid woman.’’ Howard spat leaving his soulmate looking shattered. 

 

“Why? Why couldn’t I be enough for you? This isn’t the life you promise me.” Her voice was broken.

 

Tony could hear his mom sobbing uncontrollably while nursing her cheek. Usually Tony was smart enough to not get near them when his parents were fighting, drunk or both but this was the first time he saw his mother cried and it broke his heart. 

 

“Mommy.” Tony called softly making his way to his mom. There was anger, a burning fire in Maria’s eyes. But it was fueled by pain, and Tony wished so badly he could fix it somehow, there must be a way; Stark’s men are excellent engineers. His mom ignored him and make her way straight to the bar drinking straight from the bottle. She finished a whole bottle and have another.

 

Again Tony made his way to her mother. “Mommy, are you okay?” concern thick in his voice. His mom looked at him and he could see dark, furious rage directed primarily at him, for the first time his mother didn’t look pretty, her face contorted to something ugly and frightening.

 

“Shut up!” Tony was pushed hard and toppled to the floor. It hurts! 

 

“This was all your fault.” she yelled with animalistic fury. “I should never have you.’’ His mother words stabbed him deep but he held back tears. It was ingrained by Howard who would become worse if Tony so much as show a weakness. Stark men are made of iron- Howard would say.

 

“Master Antony, are you okay?’’ he heard Jarvis’ voice coming closer. The butler helped him up. “Ma’am I think you had drunk too much.” There was a hard edge to Jarvis’ voice.

 

“Mind your tone.’’ Maria’s lips twisted into a slight ugly snarl as she glared at him. “You’re just a butler.’’ She spat venomously. “I and Howard were happy before I was pregnant with this… this abomination! Couldn’t even be born an Alpha!”

 

That was the first time Maria ever treated him roughly and the physical and word abuse became worse as she fell more and more into depression with the passing years. In her drunken ravings, she spewed whatever poison she managed to come up with at Tony from day to day. For years he bore the pain while believing that it was all his fault. 

xxx

 

Tony 30 years old (today)

 

Dream

 

He knew he shouldn’t do this. It was a taboo punishable with death for an Alpha to bed another Alpha but he couldn’t help it, his desire was like wildfire. He knew that before long he'd slick up so he could welcome Steven as he belonged with him all along. He opened the door to Steven’s chamber. The room full of Steven’s scent- it smelled divine.

 

Moonlight gleamed on Steven’s face as he turned around. Anthony’s throat went dry. He’s so fucking handsome, it hurts.

 

He could see Steven’s throat move as he swallowed, “My liege, we…” 

 

Anthony didn’t let him finish, he had enough of debating this in his mind. He wanted both of them, together, wrap in ecstasy. His body grew warmer, slicking up for Steven. 

 

He lunged toward Steven. Steven looked like he would flee, but instead, he was flying toward him.

 

Before it seemed possible that Anthony had reached him, he was straddling him, legs wrapped around him, lips crushing his. Shock waves of pleasure flowed through him… Anthony felt their bond pulsed between them, raw, real, and with roots deep enough to wrap around and penetrate his brain, heart, and some deeper part of him he couldn’t name. The force of emotion flowing between them like an impossible two-way river, they could felt sheer, unrivaled joy singing through their blood and bones. Warm fluttered and spark spreading like wildfire through their body and set off fireworks in their curiously empty skull. Like Ambrosia, it addicted his mind, body, and senses completely.

 

The whole universe instantly compressed down to their kiss, to the way they shared breath. Something in Anthony singing with glee, his senses racing, razor-focus, feeling every blissful touch of skin and lips on his.

 

Anthony felt Steven stumbled backward, found his footing, and grappled with Anthony’s ass. Steven growled something low. Steven’s body felt like heaven against him, his arms like magic. Anthony undid Steven breeches in no time. His penis reared up, hard and eager. Anthony felt Steven’s desire roared like a wild beast. Steven groaned into his mouth and pulled off his beloved’s breeches. Then Steven lifted him higher. There was nothing but Steven. His skin. His scent.

 

Steven’s breath was a siren’s song against his ear, telling him “I’m going to fuck you senseless.” Then Steven’s teeth puncture the skin over his shoulder blade.

 

Anthony could feel Steven’s knot pressing against the slick, wet skin of his ass.

 

Steven growled with animalistic zeal and drove into him. The sensation echoed, a feeling like penetrating and being penetrated at once, and both of them moaned. Steven rolled his hips. Every point of contact between them was exploding with sensation. The heat of Steven’s pleasure buzzed through Anthony and set his veins on fire. His bare chest was hot against Steven’s bare chest. How the hell they became bare. He didn’t know. He didn’t care. Couldn’t think. Grasping his hair in both hands, he arched against him, taking him, squeezing around him.

 

Steven moved, starting to thrust with earnest. The stretch stung at first, then the pleasure danced over the pain and made Anthony keen with delight. Steven was breathless feeling the same, and it redoubled until Anthony almost thought that he was the one fucking Steven. Anthony moaned loudly and answered back, giving him just as he got, riding him hard, smacking against him. 

 

Through the bond, Anthony felt Steven tension towered like a flame, burning him. He leaned back, arching to him. 

 

Anthony was trembling in Steven’s arms. “Yes...” he gasped out, “Deeper, please…”

 

Steven didn’t respond – he really couldn’t – but he let loose. He picked up speed, going harder and faster, this time, finding Anthony’s sweet spot as well. Anthony's eyes widened and he screamed. Steven moaned-no doubt feeling his ecstasy through the bond-and pounded into his sweet spot harder, faster. They were one. Mind, body, and soul, they were joined, and their minds a mess of sensation, love, and lust. 

 

Anthony gurgled what was supposed to be a growl, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as his back arched, the pleasure doubling. 

 

Steven found Tony’s nipple with his mouth, and he shrieked as he came, trembling around him, forcing Steven’s own growling release- his knot pumping out waves of sperm for a long time until he was drained, beaten. Anthony was shuddering and moaning. Steven staggered, keeping his balance but just barely. 

 

This was way better than Anthony ever imagined. 

 

Anthony dropped his forehead against Steven’s. Their breathing melded, hard and heavy. Both of them had lost a few buttons. 

 

He could see the moment good sense returned to Steven. 

 

Steven closed his eyes, fighting to breathe, and glance at him. Anthony’s hair was wild. Young and gorgeous and innocence.

 

Anthony could feel the moment shame struck his lover. “We-I” Steven forced out.

 

“Don’t. Don’t say we shouldn’t have done that.” Anthony’s eyes were deadly serious. He released Steven, letting his feet slipped limply to the ground. “I would rather die than living without your love.”

 

When Tony awakened from his dream feeling both terribly guilty and like losing a limp, he decided enough was enough he needed to tell Pepper the truth. It would make him more miserable but at least then one of them could be happy.

 

xxx

 

Pepper found the right side of the bed to be empty, a normal occurrence since the battle of New York. The only difference was Tony was here, not in his lab working on his many projects. Pepper watched the other man’s profile. Tony looked more tired and sleep deprived than she ever saw him. Whatever Tony had been bottled up had been eating him worse than Pepper thought. 

 

Pepper looked so worried. Worried about him. She deserved so much better. “Pepper, we need to talk.’’ Tony managed through what felt like a mouthful of sawdust, of chalk, of razor blades. This would be easier if he had alcohol in him but he couldn’t drink in case he couldn't stop. Letting go of Pepper was one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life but he couldn’t postpone this anymore. Delightful creatures like Pepper are not meant to be trapped and that was all he had been doing especially since he couldn’t stop emotional cheating on her. Pepper was perfect, she was everything he ever needed in a lover but since the blasted soul-bond his mind couldn’t stop comparing everything that was Pepper to Steve… and that was inexcusable. Pepper deserved so much better… then the mess he had become. 

 

Pepper smiled encouragingly. Tony had been distance since the battle of New York. She had waited for him to open up about it. 

 

“Pepper… I am bonded to someone else.” The bitterness was sharp enough to cut his breath in half. He wanted to look away but he can't, he owed her his full attention. Oh, but it was hard to watch. 

 

At first, Pepper just looked confused, “A soul-bond?”

 

“A Twin Flame soul-bound.’’ Tony forced out because Pepper deserved to know the full truth. 

 

Pepper’s face crumpled in misery. She looked away to hide her pain as she tried to come to terms with the news. “When? With whom?”

 

Tony swallowed, “Since I am little…” Pepper quickly turned to look at him. At the look of Pepper’s face, he quickly added “It wasn’t like that, I thought he was dead! I just found out he survived about three months ago.’’

 

Three months ago? So about the time, Captain America was thawed? Pepper snapped back to look at him. “Is he… Captain America?” She was falling apart, he could see it.

 

Tony just nodded.

 

“Does he know?”

 

Tony scrubbed a hand across his face. “Yeah, the bond… was kinda hard to miss, even with crazy Norse gods in tow.”

 

Pepper was quiet for a minute. Tony wanted to reach out to her, comfort her. But he was the one who had caused her to be in pain.

 

“I-We can’t be together anymore… It isn’t fair to you.” Quieter still, on a soft an expulsion of breath that sounded like it hurt Tony to let go. "I’m sorry." Tony said, far weaker than he intended. He's not crying but something in him must be weeping, otherwise, he wouldn't want to crumple like flimsy paper. “I should have told you, I should have told you 2 months ago. I just didn't want it.’’ 

 

Pepper only smiled sadly. "I am sorry too. But not quite as much as you, I think.” 

 

Her admission pricked him. "What is that supposed to mean? We're dating. We're together. You're meant to be angry. Why aren't you angry?" 

 

Pepper curled her long fingers delicately around both of his hands. They felt cool against his palm and he held on tight. When she spoke, it's with a yearning that he had never really heard before with her. "Bonding hardly ever happen and twin flame bond is even rarer. How I could ever be angry that you get to have something so wonderful?" 

 

"But I don't want it." Tony insisted. “Two people being soulmates doesn’t mean they would be good together in a relationship. It’s just the universe screwing with us, and I don’t want any part of it.” Tony looked so tired. His dilemma was understandable after all his parent were soulmate and they were far from happy. “I can't do this, Pepper, I can't." It would destroy him if he opened his heart to Steve only to be hated once Steve realized how broken he was. 

 

As if reading his mind she wrapped her arms around him, pressed a kiss into his hair. “Yes, you can. You just need time. I knew you, Tony, you would never break up with me if you didn’t feel really strongly for him.” She pointed out, ever the voice of reason. “And I will be with you every step of the way.” 

 

Of course, she would, Pepper was like the shadow that was too loyal to abandon anyone. Tony’s lips curled into a genuine smile. ‘I love you. Pepper, you’re one of the best things ever happen to me.’’ He stroked a thumb across her knuckles. 

 

“And I love you, Tony, I always will."

 

XXX

 

The morning after Steve returned from his trip, the blond got a message from Natasha telling him Tony and Pepper’s relationship was over and the rest of the team had moved into the now Avengers Tower.

 

Steve should feel like the happiest man in the world with that news but he remembered how much Tony loved Pepper. He texted back “Is Tony okay?” 

 

It was one long second before Natasha texted back “He looked tired but he seemed okay. He and Pepper break up seemed very amicable.”

 

Later that day Clint buzzed his apartment and gave him his new uniform.

 

“It was a present from Stark. He said it was 10 times better than your old ones. He also wanted me to tell you, you’re welcome to move to Avengers Tower if you want it. He had personalized the tower’s top 5 floors for all of us.” Clint said with a smile. He and Natasha shared a floor being mate and all.

 

Steve was over the moon with happiness.


	2. The tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve move into the Avengers tower.

Tony Stark 16-17 years old

 

This was wrong, it wasn’t something he expected from his father when he showed him his first artificial intelligence Dum-E.

 

He could see dark, furious rage directed primarily at him, his dad’s face contorted to something ugly and frightening.

 

This was wrong! He had created something groundbreaking as a reason to be proud of him instead of filled with jealousy and anger. This was wrong! He was never good enough always hated and degraded. Why did Howard radiate fury like a silver flame? 

 

A hard punch and Tony’s head jerked to the side and throbbing heat exploded across his cheek. Howard had broken his cheekbone. 

 

“Useless omega, I thought I told you to finish the new missile!”

 

“But….” I don’t want to make weapons, he swallowed the words. His wrists were broken the last time he said it. As if hearing his thought, Howard looked angrier if that was possible.

 

“NO BUT! DO AS I SAY!!” Tony cried out in pain when Howard booted foot connected with his side hard. Howard proceeded to hit him again and again, only this time he hit him where it could be hidden by clothes. The pain Howard had inflicted was nothing compared to the pain in his heart!

 

It took a while before he let the reality sink in. The real reason Howard, his father gave him so much pain was never because he wasn’t good enough. It was because he knew…he fucking knew his son who was from the lowest caste, an Omega, would outshine his skill at a young age and he hated it. Hated it so much that he taught a child that physical blows hurt but words could wound for a lifetime and shown him how much he didn’t deserve to be loved all before Tony reached kindergartens.

 

It felt like being shot multiple times. He heard a bark of harsh, humorless laughter then he realized the sound coming from him. He wiped at his tears, the horrible laugh still hadn’t stopped. It had never been the same again after that. He couldn’t forgive Howard anymore!

 

All his love and his desperation for Howard approval turned into anger and resentment. It suddenly made perfect sense. Howard would always love Captain America because he was the product and symbol of his genius. He would always hate Tony because his son represented everything he hated, his genius being replaced by better future generation and his gene failure in producing an Alpha and produced an Omega instead. 

 

After failing in replicated the super-serum, searched for Captain America and revolutionized the arc reactor, Howard hated that another thing in his life had failed. He had turned all that hatred and frustration to his only child! Hell, he would never amount to anything to Howard other than a cash cow and his punching bag. And god did it hurt! To Howard, he was just something to be manipulated and gained from.

 

Using the excuse of getting better marketing, he had named Tony creations as his because he didn’t want the world to know that his Omega son’s talent outstripped that of his own. Tony being the foolish, loyal son he was had let him!

 

The final stitches had been sewn shut. After days of angry words bubbled low in his throat like something hot and acidic caught behind his teeth every time he was in the same vicinity with his dad, it gave him the best of feeling to finally gave Howard a piece of his mind before leaving the Stark’s mansion for good. Took away any control his dad had over him and ending the little cycle of misery Howard had put him through. He prided himself of not repeating Maria’s mistake of being too dependent on Howard and too pathetic to break free.   
.  
XXX

 

Tony now.

 

Tony was waiting for Steve… Captain America right by the elevator. He stood up straighter: sharp, crisp, composed. Not Tony but Iron Man. 

 

The elevator opened and Steve saw Tony in a suit. Tony’s sunglasses clear but dark blue in the fading sunlight. To Steve, meeting Tony again felt as though he had been trapped in a freezing cave and then suddenly freed to bask in the bright summer sun. It was blinding and beautiful and the only thing he ever wanted for the rest of his life. He was staring at Tony, face bright, overwhelmed with happiness, brighter than the sun. He was floating. 

 

“Tony.” Steve’s voice sounded like a prayer.

 

To Tony, meeting Steve again was like drinking a tall glass of water after a lifetime in the desert. It took all of his strength to resist the temptation to touch Steve, to hold him, to kiss him, to tell him everything. Tony felt like a nervous teenager all over again. The genius watched the other closely. Steve looked amazing, livelier. Electric sparks danced in Tony’s tummy. Their eyes were glued together, and he was lost in those sparkling, silvery blue eyes. He couldn't look away it was like staring into the arc reactor. He was hypnotized by those hypnotic eyes. Steve’s eyes darkened to an alluring shade of blue. It made Tony’s bones felt like butter left out in the sun.

 

Tony held back a shudder and tore his eyes away from Rogers. Why did he let JARVIS persuaded him to give the tour in person again? He should have just order JARVIS to do it. ‘Because you really miss and care about him’ his traitorous mind supplied. He wouldn’t let a stupid bond rule over his life… especially after it had cost him his best relationship. The Omega hated how easily Steve undid the control he had spent 13 years and more perfecting. He needed to corral Rogers’ siren-like allure.

 

Tony stepped back to allow the other man passage. Roger’s of the chart’s Alpha scent invaded Tony’s senses. The heat at the core of his body made his legs weak. Tony fought to compose himself. He pulled his sunglasses off, fiddling with it. “Let me show you your room, Captain.” Tony said in the same voice he used in Avengers’ debriefing.

 

Steve didn’t let his smile falter. He kind of expected Tony to went all professional like this. A flame of hope had been kindled in Steve after he heard about Tony and Pepper break up and he could not bring himself to blow it out. “Thanks.” One step at a time, he would wait for Tony his whole life if he needed to.  
xxx

 

Tony fished for the key and gave Steve a silver key labeled with his respective floor number.

 

"Key not key-card?” Steve gave him a knowing grin, studying the key.

 

“I know you’re not uncomfortable with technology.” He had seen Steve using the touchscreen on the Hellicarrier. "I thought you'd like an old-fashioned key better than a card. It had a chip planted in it to open the door.”

 

That warmed Steve’s heart. That Tony had been thinking about him…

 

Steve opened the door to his room.

 

It was a lot like his old apartment only much bigger. He smiled at the thought Tony had been keeping a tab on him. The wooden furniture only lightly finished, but the bed was soft and fluffy, warmly covered in a dark blue duvet. There was a small couch he liked the look of. The shelves by the desk were a little bare and lonely, but there was a large blackboard for him to pin up tactics and different training scenarios. 

 

When he looked at the cupboards, he saw some clothes in the closet and a toolbox that he could use when he wanted to fix up his bike. It seemed altogether a room he would be happy to live in. It felt like... like someone who'd known him had picked it out. 

 

The bathroom was completely white marble and had a sunken tub as well as a large glass-enclosed shower.

 

Steve entered the spare room only to see it was an art gallery. There were tins of various color paints; no doubt Tony had heard that Steve like to draw murals on his walls. Steve walked around like he was at a loss, a hand stretched out to touch the walls. 

 

Tony couldn't tell if this was a good thing or not or that he was waiting with bated breath until Steve began positively beaming and Tony sighed in relief. "I can't believe this." Steve was saying laughingly.

 

For a second Tony’s composure broke and he was moving with half-desperate, nervous energy, looking at Steve like the only thing he wanted was for him to be happy, and Steve... had to use all his will power not to just grab him and kiss him.

 

Tony cursed under his breath. He needed to get this insane attraction to Steve under control. This wasn’t him, he learned from his relationship with Maria, Howard, and Obie that seeking to make connections did one thing – broke him. He wasn’t going to be that little Omega again desperate for love and acceptance. 

 

"So," Tony said, stepping back, "do you want a tour around the tower, Captain?" 

 

Steve couldn't help grinning back. "Do I ever!" before pushing past Tony through the elevator’s door.

xxx


End file.
